An Apple A Day

We had Aiden's two month doctors check up a few days ago. Everything went well! He weighs 13lbs 11oz and is 23.75" long (my BIG guy!!). He's still very colicky but the doctor says hopefully he'll outgrow it in the next month or so. When she asked Emma if she liked being a big sister she said "Yeah, I love my baby brother. He cries a lot though." Confirmation that we're still dealing with a lot of cranky baby times over here. After discussing everything we've tried to help him and how I've been getting up at 4am with him for the day the doctor suggested we just let him swing himself back to sleep in the morning. She said "i'm not suppose to encourage the swing but you need sleep and if that's the only way to get it then that's what you have to do." So I've been camping out on the couch next to him at 4am until Emma comes down at 7 to wake me. It's amazing how the love you feel for your child allows you to just do and not think about it. I'm exhausted and stressed but I'll sleep on the couch as long as he needs because I just want him to feel better (although I think in my daze I threatened last night to give him to the church - haha we all have our moments!).

Thank god for our down to earth doctor, who happens to be a new mommy of a 4 month old too! Up until now we really haven't been able to find a doctor we liked. Emma's first doctor told us when Em was about a year old that we should give her french fries from McDonalds if she liked them. That was the last time we saw her! Not that we don't give her french fries ever but I'd rather have a doctor who encouraged apples :)

Why is it so hard to find good, caring doctors? Through both pregnancies I struggled finding one of my own. It seems like the OBGYN practice I go to just pushes you along not even remembering who you are or at the very least reading the chart before they come in the room. Not only do they make you wait at least 20 minutes in the waiting room and another 15 in the exam room, but you only end up seeing the doctor for about 5 minutes and they have no idea what is going on. One time I was in there for a follow up visit for severe headaches. The midwife came in and did her usual exam. Then she asked me how I was feeling and if I was having any issues. Umm yes, I'm here because I was having headaches! She then looked at the chart (after I told her about the headaches) and said "oh yeah how are your headaches?" Really, you couldn't spend five seconds looking at it before you came in! Another time, actually the morning before Aiden was born, the nurse took my blood pressure twice because she said it was really high. I usually have really low blood pressure so I was worried. The midwife came in said everything looked good and tried to hurry me along to my ultrasound. She said they were in a rush to get me in there because the ultrasound tech was waiting! I asked her about the high blood pressue and again she had no idea! She sent the nurse back in to measure it again and it came back lower. So why did I keep going there? I have no idea. I guess it's because it's the only practice that there was no chance I'd be stuck with a midwife I didn't know (which happened with Emma and was horrible - but that's another story!). But why aren't there any good practices out there? Why aren't there any midwives who know their patients names and actually care about their health? Having a baby is one of the biggest and scariest events of your life, someone should actually care enough to know your name shouldn't they?

Well even if they did know my name they certainily don't care about the health and welfare of their patients. My postpartum check up was a joke. I was half asleep and barely said three words to anyone there (except of course when the nurse asked about my birth control plans for the future and I replied "Yes, please. Yes give me everything you've got"). No one seemed to notice that I could barely keep my eyes open. The doctor came in, checked me and on her way out the door said "oh did the nurse give you the postpartum worksheet?" No, she hadn't which really annoyed the doctor. She gave me about 3 minutes to fill it out, barely glanced at it and said ok, see you in July. Not that I think I need any postpartum treatment but it would have been nice of her to ask how I was doing?!

So this was really suppose to be about how happy I am with our new doctor but it turned out to be about how much I feel women need more care during and after pregnancy. Pregnancy and postpartum are an emotional rollarcoaster and there should be better professional support out there.

So over here we're just going to keep pressing on. Enjoying the baby smiles and coos and getting through the hours of crying knowing that "this too shall pass."

Emma's Insightful Quote of the Week:

(While driving in the car)
Emma: "Mommy why do you have daddy's song?"
Me: "What do you mean Emma?" (took me 3 tries to realize the song on the radio is one Alex must play in his car alot). "Does daddy play this song in his car?"
Emma: "Yeah, did he share it with you?"

Passing it on

So tonight I made dinner for strangers. Correction....I made dinner for strangers with a 14 month old and newborn, our new neighbors. I may at times be in over my head, but I know I'm not the only mom out there who could use some help and support. I am so lucky to have amazing friends and family who have fed and taken such great care of us the last eight weeks. I went to a last minute playdate the other day where my friends not only fed us lunch but sent us home with dinner (yes like I said AMAZING friends). So with the idea that I am incredibly lucky to have so much support, I thought it would be the right thing to do to pass it on to someone who may not have friends to cook dinner for her.

It also reminds me to not judge others. I'm sure my friends at our playdate could have looked at me and thought that I wasn't doing a great job parenting. I can't even get my kid to sit and eat two bites of anything let alone the fresh fruit that the other kids were enjoying! But they don't judge. They are great moms who know what I wish all moms could grasp.....most moms are doing they best they can and that's good enough! (I say "most" moms because of course there are those moms who are off oding on drugs, but most moms are great moms). If you haven't read the book "I was a really good mom before I had kids" then you need to go out and get it! It's all about how you can look at a mom and judge her much easier before you are a mom yourself. I can totally attest to this and now I feel guilty about it. I can remember going out to dinner and scoffing at the kid watching a dvd while her parents ate dinner or staring at the kid screaming in the grocery store. Now I'm the mom trucking the dvd player out with us (how on earth would Alex & I get to eat without it?!) and my kid is usually the one screaming at the grocery store (hence why I go at 10pm after she's in bed!).I now try to never judge other parents. I know how I struggle sometimes and I know that most parents are doing the best they can for their children. No one is perfect and as long as you can go to bed knowing you did the best you could then that's good enough for me!

So I challenge you to do two things....pay it forward to another mom and don't judge! You could really make someone's day and hopefully they will do the same for the next person.




And one adorable picture just for the heck of it :)

We Survived Our First 7 Weeks!

So I've decided that I need to chronicle the adventures I've been having as a new mom of two children. Who knew it would be such a learning experience? As a college graduate and former nanny, who owns her own business and on the side has a real estate license, I figured I was organized and smart enough to handle two children. Many friends told me that two would be a huge adjustment but I guess I did not listen hard enough and was no at all prepared for what was ahead! Don't get me wrong, I adore my children, but as you'll probably read in this blog, some days are just more than this mommy can handle!

Well Aiden is now seven weeks old (born February 22nd) and I've finally gotten around to starting this blog! So if you haven't been following my facebook posts you've missed all that we have been encoutering so far. Here's a quick recap...
Week 1: Brought Aiden home after 1 day in the hospital. Unfortunately, my mother was still in Florida so Alex and I were on our own for the first few days.  Alex and Emma were both suffering with bad colds so it was all up to me to take care of the house and all of the occupants while trying to recover from delivering an almost 10 pound baby! All it took were a few pleas to my mom and some cute pics of the new baby and Grammie came flying home! Yay! We needed her help! Week 1 also involved a special visit to the doctor to check out Aiden's extreme diaper rash.

Week 2: Thanks to my mom who stayed for over a week and some great friends, we stayed well fed and everything seemed pretty easy. But then....Oh no! Grammie left us! Our first day alone was horrible (not going to sugarcoat it, I thought I was going to die and cried for the majority of it). All I remember is both kids screaming, both kids pooping and it ending with all three of us in the oversized glider and both kids eventually asleep. Week 2 also involved me going back to work after only 11 days of "maternity leave". You don't really get leave when you own the place! Week 2 ended with a 2 week check up for Aiden where we found out he had a double ear infection. The lady at the check out counter commented "I've never seen a baby so young with an ear infection" and the doctor said "Good thing you had this appointment, you should have brought him in earlier." Well gee thanks, that made me feel great!

Week 3: I suffered through week 3. Emma, my wise beyond her years two year old, kept me sane with her thoughtful conversation:
Me: "yawn"
Emma: "Mommy, are you tired?"
Me: "Yes, being a mommy is tiring."
Emma: "Maybe you should be a daddy."
Me: "Maybe. Being a daddy is a lot less work."
Emma: "I know!"

We also got our first family pictures done this week and Emma got her first haircut. I do have to comment on the haircut since I was soo dissapointed. We brought her to snipits and the lady cut literally three 1cm pieces and handed them to me in a tiny bag. $13 later that was it! I couldn't believe it. Later, people asked me why I didn't complain and I realized that I had been in such a daze just trying to stay awake I didn't even think about it at the time. (Of course I lost the hair since then too which really made me sad - sorry Em!).

Week 4: Here's a quote from my facebook post week 4:
"Had to bring Aiden back to the dr. today, this time for colic. Of course 10 minutes before the appointment he is screaming to be fed. So I feed him and now we're ready to walk out the door (5 min late) and Emma poops her pants! Bring her upstairs to get clean pants and the toilet clogs and overflows. So we end up 15 minutes late to the dr. and I have poop water all over my pants & socks. To top it off I leave the diaper bag at the office after we leave so we have to drive back after we get home and I realize I don't have it! Ahhhh...."breathe mommy" Emma tells me!"
(since this Emma has complete digressed and poops in her pants daily!)

The next 2 weeks were filed with being late to almost everything we did. I think Emma's teacher at school actually expected her to be late and was always waiting at the door when we arrived with a pittyed look on her face. We also dealt with many gastric issues with Aiden which came to a head this week (week 7). Poor little baby has been so gassy and fussy and his poor mommy has not been getting any sleep because of it. We tried everything -  zantac for reflux but it didnt work and made him cry more - also tried 3 different kinds of formula, no dairy, gas drops, special bed, no nursing, exclusive nursing, new bottles, probiotic drops and now we're on to gripe water and sleeping inclined. Many calls to the doctor have resulted in a final conclusion.....severe colic. The doctor said there's not much else to try and it will go away by 3-4 months. Her best advice...."scream into a pillow". LOL!

Of course there has been a ton more things we've been through which I want to share but Aiden is waking up and wants to be fed and Emma wants me to dress her like a princess and I still need to shower before we head off for a playdate (yes I'm feeling daring today and will attempt to get them both out the door - I need some adult interaction!). More to come soon!