The 29 Hour Day

I never realized as a child how time consuming parenting was. Even as a teenager I did not fully understand the extent to which my mother committed her day to me and gave up her freedom (and money) to let me participate in the activities I wanted to. Sometimes I even wonder if maybe I'm just not with it enough. Maybe those organized moms have all of this time on their hands and are completely relaxed and fully content with the way that their days run. I realize though after speaking to so many of you that this "ideal" relaxed mama is probably the exception to the rule. I do still dream about her though, mopped floor, no dishes overflowing in the sink, no piles of mail and art projects exploding off the island, laundry folded and put neatly in the dresser drawers, healthy kids neatly dressed sitting at the kitchen table properly eating their veggies while she knits a sweater..... haha definitely not the case at my house!

So how come I can't just get a few more hours in the day? It's a constant struggle to get everything done and I never feel like I'm actually finished at the end of the day when I force myself to get into bed. I lay there making lists of things that I need to do the next day because I didn't get it done today. Balancing work and children is such a challenge let alone keeping the house clean and squeezing in some time for the hubby! One extra hour at work and I'm an hour behind at home which means kids not fed on time, bathed on time or in bed on time. One extra hour at home and I'm backed up at work.

There's just too much to do. I've been to the doctor's office three times in the last eight days and we have another appointment in Albany on Monday (no joke!). I try not to over-schedule my kids, not just to keep them sane but to keep me sane. But with two kids even two activities a week is a lot especially when one naps twice a day on top of that! Plus then you have school field trips, dance shows, birthday parties, the list goes on. On top of the activities there's buying the outfit for the dance show, the present for the party....ahhhh! I just don't have enough time for it all. It takes me a good hour in the morning just to get us packed and out of the door to whatever we're suppose to do that day. And I'm ALWAYS late. My playgroup friends know not to expect me until 12 even though the play dates start at 11:30am.

Maybe I'm just an overachiever. I'm not fully satisfied until the job is done, the house is clean, home cooked dinner is on the table, and the kids are happy, well educated and socialized. I think as a mom though sometimes we need to just step back once in a while and say "good enough". Kids are fed and not screaming their heads off, good enough. Laundry is clean but still in the dryer, good enough. Mopped the floor last week, good enough. I'm going to start taking one "good enough" day a week and be the crazy, busy, over scheduled mom the other six days. Unless of course we can come up with someway to get some extra hours in the day. I'm not asking for much, maybe four or five. Imagine what I could do with them.....Maybe I could write this blog in less than three hours???


                                                   Thanksgiving:

 

From the mouth of Emma:

"I'm going to beat you in the pants"

(AKA I'm going to beat you at something....)

When It's Bad It's Awful!

For some reason the phrase "when it's good it's very good but when it's bad it's awful" if just sticking in my head today. Perhaps because it has been the most horrible day in a very long time at our house! And I'm actually taking the time to sit down and write this now with hopes that putting it on paper will stop this snowball affect that seems to be making this day just worse and worse....we'll see....

The day actually started at 1am when Aiden decided it was going to be one of those mornings where he wakes up for his bottle and refuses to go back to sleep. I let him scream for a half hour and then gave in. Couldn't get him quiet until about 4:30am. I have no idea what was bothering him, his stomach probably, but nothing seemed to make him feel better except mommy holding him so I sat in his rocker for three and a half hours until he was sound asleep and then slipped him back into the crib. And that started the snowball into a horrible day....

My alarm went off at 7:40am but because I was so exhausted from not sleeping I hit the snooze button way too many times thus resulting in us running late for school. I got the kids up and dressed and down for breakfast. Luckily I had an idea that the morning might be hectic so I had packed Emma's lunch for school the night before. It just so happened that this morning was also our morning for bringing snack to school (God help me!). I did buy the snack in advance but for some reason had decided that we would have apples and did not want to cut them in advance and have them brown on me so I had waited until this morning to do so. We had gotten a neat apple cutting device for our wedding a while ago that is suppose to peel the apple and then slice it all at once so I figured this would be an easy, quick task. Nope, of course not. The apples didn't seem to go through the thing correctly and I kept ending up with chunks of random seedy apple everywhere. No nice slices.... In an attempt to fix the contraption I sliced open my finger. So here I am profusely bleeding, kids crying at the kitchen table, no snack ready.... I wrap my finger in a tissue and continue with the next 5 apples I had to cut. No luck, more apple "chunks" everywhere and another cut open finger. I gave up! Sorry class but you only got four apples cut into random chunks, some with the peel and core still attached.

It's now 9am (we were suppose to be at school at 8:45am). I'm still in the pajamas and still bleeding all over the kitchen. I debate whether I should call the doctor to see if I need stitches, but decide there's no time for that I need to get this darn snack and kid off to school. I run upstairs, grab some band aids and a bra and head back downstairs (This won't be the first time I've brought poor Emma late to school, still in my pjs! Can't wait for the teacher conference tomorrow when they tell me how discheveled I am). Back downstairs get jackets and shoes on both kids and realize Emma's car seat is sitting on the playroom floor. She had dumped chocolate milk in it yesterday and I had brought it in to clean it. Race around getting it put back together. Can't find my car keys to get it into the car...grab the spare set and get the seat installed. Grab the kids, put them in the car. And we're off to school. Bleeding, in my pjs, fifteen minutes late and with a very crappy snack.....

I decide that there is no way I'm going to make it through an entire day of work with my kids after this bad morning so I text Tish, the wonderful girl who works for me and doesn't judge my horrible parenting skills, and ask her to come in for the afternoon so I can come home. She agrees and I'm feeling better.

So happy that adventure was over and am now ready to restart the day and go to work for just a few hours with Aiden. Aiden and I leave Emma's school and head home. I never did find my keys so when I unload Aiden from the car and go to enter the house I find that I had locked the door and have only the spare car key in hand. We're locked out!! I feel like I just might cry... Find the "hidden" key and we get back in. Thank you hubby for hiding that because my dumb self left my cell phone in the locked up house and would have been in BIG trouble without that key. I shower, pack up our stuff and head to work, now running 15 minutes late for work! This day must get better right??

Nope! I get to work and remember that I don't have a key to the store. I leant it out to another worker the day before and have to go retrieve it from the pet store next door. Now I'm twenty minutes late opening the store. We get inside and settled and my stomach reminds me I haven't eaten anything and I've left my breakfast and coffee in my car parked around the corner. I'm not up for dragging Aiden out again with me and I don't want to leave him alone in the store so I decide to just add that to my list of things that did not go right today.

Thankfully the few hours at the store go by very quickly and I'm overjoyed to see Tish walk in twenty minutes early! We pack up our stuff and head back to Emma's school to retrieve her. The original plan was that my friend Jen was going to pick her up and bring her to the store so I'm excited that it will be me picking her up instead so I get to spend more time with her. Unfortunately, Emma did not feel the same way. As soon as she sees me she runs as far away in the classroom as she can get and refuses to come home with me. I have to drag her, carrying her in one arm and Aiden in the other, out the door and to the car, kicking and screaming the entire way. She's mad that she had to leave school and to top it off mommy picked her up, not Miss Jen. Please just let this day be over.... Emma then proceeds to have the worst temper tantrum I have ever seen. I actually crack up laughing because I just have no idea how to react to her behavior. She screams and kicks for a half hour after we get home and pees her pants. I just ignore it because I'm pretty much spent for the day.

Of course its then I fight to get Aiden back down for his afternoon nap and Emma does not want to spend "quiet time" in her room. Everyone is now settled, many some quiet mommy time for me? Nope, the tv is telling me I have to call the company if I want to watch a show and I can't remember my password to get into google to write this blog.... Please oh pretty please, can we just go back to bed and start again tomorrow??

Sleep Deprived

I've decided that its just never going to happen....I'm never going to get more than 4 hours of sleep at any given time. Maybe when the children are in college.

I feel that I must be doing something wrong when it comes to getting my kids to sleep because they just don't do it! Emma was a bad sleeper as a baby. She slept through the night very young, maybe three months, but then around six months it stopped and she's been getting up at least once a night ever sense. As we got closer to Aiden's birth she did get much better and was only up maybe once a week, but at that point I wasn't sleeping because of my giant belly so it didn't really matter.

Then my little prince Aiden arrived. As most of you know, he has his issues. He has a wide range of allergies which upset his stomach and we still haven't really gotten to the bottom of what is wrong with him. This mean lots of crying, especially at night. He usually goes down around 7pm and is up at 11pm and 4am and usually 2am also (although some nights I do get lucky without the 2am wake up!). I've been told to just let him cry by numerous people but you can tell the poor kid is in obvious pain and isn't just crying because he's spoiled. When you feed him his stomach gurggles like he hasn't eaten in days! So I get up...and up...and up.

There is the rare occasion that Aiden only gets up once in the night. This would be wonderful but for some reason Emma feels she needs to compensate and ALWAYS wakes up with nightmares or a cough on those nights. So I get up!

So why am I the only getting up you  may wonder. Where is my fabulous husband? The lucky man sleeps right through it. All of it! We even put a monitor for Emma next to him in bed but does he hear it? Nope! I think he would sleep through a nuclear bomb if it exploded near our home. And I could wake him, and do once in a while. But I lay there thinking "Well if I'm already awake why wake another poor soul? I might as well just get it over with!" Don't get me wrong. He is a great help. If I asleep already for the 11pm feeding and he's still awake he does it no questions asked and if I wake him in the middle of the night because I'm just too tired to get up he never complains. He's just so lucky that he sleeps right through it all.

I even had the fabulous opportunity to have my mom come one night to sleep over. She felt bad that I was so tired so she offered to keep the monitors for me so I could sleep. I had this feeling that there was no way it was going to happen but was optimistic. Guess what?! The batteries in Aiden's monitor died and I got up because I could hear him screaming! Really?! What are the chances??

Sometimes in the mornings the kids sleep in until 7:30 or 8am which is wonderful. Unfortunately I think there is a conspiracy against me because its always these mornings that something or someone else wakes me up at the crack of dawn. Let's see....the other morning it was the man next door blowing his leaves, a few times the trash truck, once in a while its Alex's 5:30am alarm clock or a cat jumps on me wanting to be fed. This morning is was a text message! And if I'm super lucky and none of these things wake me it's a morning that we need to be up early for school or work or a doctor's appointment.

I would love take the constant advice, sleep during the day while your kids sleep, but that seems nearly impossible as well. Either I'm at work (don't think you guys would like it too much if I was sleeping in the back instead of helping you!) or the two kids just refuse to nap at the same time. It always happens, I get one down and race to get the other one asleep and by the time that's accomplished the first one is up!

So when you see me and see the giant bags under my eyes and read about all of the dumb things I forget to do on a daily basis. Or if I don't call you back or answer your facebook post....just think of this post and how sleepy this poor mommy is! A incredibly happy mommy, but a very sleepy one!

Mommy Brain

Ever since Aiden was born I fear I am suffering severely from "mommy brain". Thought it would be funny to make a list of all of the hilarious things I've done (and not done) in the past 7 months....

1. Went to the store 3 times specifically for a part for my breast pump. Didn't come back with the part until the 3rd time....not sure what I bought the other 2 times!

2. When getting ready for bed I put my contacts in. I had worn my glasses all day and apparently felt it was a good time for contacts.

3. Got out of the shower and realized I never washed anything....what the heck did I do in there? Had to get back in and actually "shower".

4. Constantly rinse something in the sink and leave the water on.

5. Took me 4 Sundays to remember to start taking my birth control pill on a Sunday!

6. Made chicken broccoli alfredo - served it and then realized I never put the broccoli in (hubby said lets just eat it the way it is!)

7. Grabbed my coffee mug to run out the door but never put coffee in it.


8. Looked at the video monitor and freaked out when the baby wasn't in the crib. Realized a few seconds later that I had put him in his swing!


9. Usually find out how many scoops of coffee I put in the machine once I pour the first cup (almost always lose count!).


10. Washed and dried a load of the children's laundry and never added any detergent. Everything came out stained and stinky. Had to do it all again!


11. Sorted the white and darks. Loaded the whites into the washer. Then loaded the darks on top of them.

Do you have any good mommy brain moments to share??!!

I'm back!!

Well we are finally back to normal at our house with our second store open and doing well. Luckily I was able to find some great employees and cut back on my hours so the house is once again clean, laundry is done and the children are striving and growing way too big! We have filled our already busy schedule with preschool, playgroup and dance and swimming classes. There's been many adventures I wanted to blog about but there just wasn't enough time to get it all down so I'm going to recap some of the "fun" times for you in the next few weeks!

Dance Class

 

                                                           Emma's 1st Day of School

 

 

A few months ago at Target.....

 (The back story: Emma has an imaginary sister named Lila. She comes with us everywhere but according to Emma she does not live with us and she has a different mom!)

So as you know if you read my blog about shopping, I do not take my kids shopping with me. Unfortunately with the time restrictions of opening the new store I really had no choice but to drag them along with me one day on a major shopping trip to Target. I decide to take the giant shopping cart with the two red toddler seats in the front and a regular cart behind them. I let Emma sit in the seat and put Aiden in the cart. Of course, Lila came on the trip with us too.

So here we go, me pushing this giant cart, loading it up with garbage cans, Rubbermaid bins, paper towels, etc. (nothing small!). I fill the cart and under the cart, we could barely see poor Aiden. Then I need to start filling the areas around Emma in the front part. I put my 24 rolls of toilet paper on the empty seat next to Em and she freaks out!
Emma: "Mommy you're squishing Lila!"
Me: "Can't Lila hold the toilet paper for mommy?"
Emma: "No! Don't put things of top of her."
I'm not up for a fight in Target so I try to fill all of the other areas around the seat instead. So here I am carrying the 30lb cat litter while pushing this giant cart. Other shoppers think I'm crazy because there is obviously an empty seat right in front of me to put the litter down...oh well!

We pay and make our way back to the car. I put the kids in their seats and go to push the cart into the cart corral. I get back into the car and Emma says "Mommy! You left Lila in the cart!" Oh my goodness, really?! I get back out of the car and go back over to the cart corral. Pretend to take Lila out and get back into the car.
"Ok Lila's here now. Can we go?"
Emma: "No, you need to buckle her into her seat. She can't ride in the front it's not safe!"
So I pretend to move her to the back and buckle her in. We can finally leave Target!

What a trip....this is why I don't bring the kids shopping with me!

                                               Nothin like baby love at the end of the day

Grocery Shopping

Recently while working at Cuddle Bugs I got into a conversation with some moms about dragging children around while running errands. I am happy to say that Cuddle Bugs is extremely accommodating to parents with children as we provide a playroom for them to occupy their time while their parents shop. I was thinking how lovely it would be if Target would start doing that!

As a mom of two, I avoid taking my children anywhere that is not necessary. It is rare that you'll see me pushing a cart with both of them in it into any store. I'd much rather sneak my shopping in when they're sleeping or home with daddy or Grammie. I do it at the most awkward times of course.

The late night deli counter people probably hate me at Price Chopper because I grocery shop after the kids are in bed. This means I get there around 8:45 (Em is usually asleep by 8 and then it takes me 30 minutes to write the list and gather the coupons!). The deli closes at 9 so they're always cleaning up and I know they hate it when I ask for a million things right before they close. Obviously they have no idea what it would be like if I was carting around two kids with me!

I love late night grocery shopping though. There's always parking available and no one is in the store! I take my sweet time wandering aimlessly through the aisles. I stop at the apples and whip out my phone to calculate if its cheaper to buy the individual apples or the bag. I look over all of the meat to see which one "looks" the best (really they all look the same...). My favorite is the ice cream aisle. I could spend hours there. First it's deciding if we really need ice cream (we're suppose to be on diets). I always decide that we need it. Then it's what flavor to get and what brand. I always feel good after I leave the ice cream aisle....

I take my time picking out what I want too. I'm the girl who stands there and reads all of the labels. Did you know that fruit snacks really don't have fruit in them? The first two ingredients are sugar and high fructose corn syrup! They really should call them sugar snacks. You'd be amazed at the things they put into foods that kids love. My poor kids are going to be the losers at the lunch table with whole fruit in their bags and no fruit snacks! I once read a juice label that said "less sugar". The first ingredient was water. Of course if you water it down it has less sugar. I can do that at my house for free and not pay an additional dollar for it.

Well eventually I do have to check out. I like to pretend that the lady at the check out analyzes all of her customers and thinks "wow, what a good mom" and "that lady with the organic romaine and natural peanut butter must really have healthy kids" when I come through the line. Really she's probably thinking "only 5 more minutes until my break"....but hey I can dream right? Maybe think for a minute that my hour at the grocery store wasn't just to keep me sane but to nourish my family as well and then not feel so bad that I'd been gone for so long.

When I get home half the time Aiden has woken up and has been screaming for the past half hour and Emma never actually feel asleep and the chaos begins all over again. But hey that hour at the grocery store was really great. Looking forward to doing it again next week!


From the mouth of Emma:
Me: "Emma you should put your shoes on. I don't want you walking around in bare feet."
Emma: "Mommy, I don't have bears feet. See my toes?"

Sick babes

I figure in a blog about my wonderful adventures with my two kiddos I can't skip today's trip gone very bad! It actually started yesterday....

Aiden had his 4-month doctors appointment. 16 pounds 2 ounces! Everything looked good. Of course he screamed after the shots but big sister Emma held his hand. Unfortunately the shots didn't seem to sit well with him and he was miserable for the rest of the day. Cried all day except when he was sleeping and refused to eat anything. This made me incredibly nervous since I was suppose to work today and I couldn't imagine running the store with a screaming 4 month old and active 3 year old. In preparation for the worst I asked my assistant Wende if she could be "on call" in case I couldn't work.

Emma also wasn't feeling too well. She had had diarrhea for the past few days and wasn't eating much . We got some potatoes in her just before bed and Alex brought her up to tuck her in. A few minutes later...ciaos....Emma puked the potatoes up in her room. She told us she had stuck her finger in her mouth so we didn't think anything of it. We cleaned her up and sent her to bed and didn't hear from her again until I woke her this morning for her first day of summer camp.

When I came into her room this morning to tell her we had to get ready for summer camp she said she didn't want to go. I persuaded her to get dressed and that it would be so much fun to meet new friends. We loaded into the car and off we went to Saratoga. I had actually gotten out the door on time but of course I realized I forgot to pack a snack so we had to stop at Stewerts which then made us running late.

On the way to camp Emma said her belly hurt and she didn't want to go. I told her to try it out and if she didn't feel well I would come right back for her. Bad mommy, assuming she just didn't want to go to camp and wasn't really sick. Well just before we got to the school she proved to me that she really wasn't going to camp.....she puked all over herself and my car! I pulled over to the side of the road and attempted to clean it all up (so gross!). Ciaos again....I didn't have a change of clothes for her except one pair of capris so she was practically naked. The car seat was wreaked so there I was trying to wipe it off with baby wipes. Aiden was screaming because he was mad that the car had stopped and now wanted to be fed. Ahh! 5 minutes later I had Emma sitting in her semi-clean car seat covered with a blanket and Aiden back to sleep after a few sips of bottle and we were all the way back to our house in Glens Falls. 

Luckily Wende was still on call and came in to cover the store for me (I'm so lucky to have help so I can be home with my sick babies). Now I'm wondering if poor Aiden has the same stomach bug that Em has and that is why he's so cranky.

Well we're home now, both children are napping and I'm hoping we're done with throw up and on to recovery (the smell alone makes me want to hurl too). We'll try camp again on Thursday if Emma is better by then....we'll see...I don't want to infect any other children. I wouldn't wish this one anyone! Soothing sick kids is a whole lot harder when there's more than one. That's for sure!



On a brighter note we had a fabulous vacation in Cape Cod a few weeks ago.....

Halfway There....

I'm happy to report that things are going much better at our house! I finally feel that I have the two kid thing kind of under control (at least enough to keep everyone safe and mostly happy!). It's not easy. I have to sacrifice so much of my personal time in order to maintain some kind of order and cleanliness around the house and it's always a struggle between work or reading "one more story!" I've come to realize though that between lack of time and complete mommy brain I leave a lot of things half done!

Come to my house and you'll see so many things that I've tried to start but got interrupted by a waking baby or hungry toddler. Usually I only have two or three days a week at home with them so really tackling a project is near impossible. The bathroom has three out of four walls without wallpaper. Started that project one morning when getting out of the shower and seeing the wallpaper peeling off the wall, probably a month or two ago. Had a great hour a few weeks ago when I got to work soaking the walls with remover and got three of them almost completely stripped. Poor wall number four though is just hanging out still waiting for another day when both kids sleep at the same time (which rarely happens)....maybe next month.... I keep hoping the wallpaper genie will just come do it for me and one morning I'll wake up to a new bathroom!

Generally the house gets vacuumed in two or three parts. Some days just the living room rug, some days the whole downstairs. Never both the upstairs and downstairs together (how wonderful would it be to have a maid?!). Sometimes I can't get it together to get both litter boxes cleaned on the same day (sorry kitties!). Usually I have time to take a shower but never to dry my hair. I get the dishwasher unloaded but the dirty dishes still sit on the counter when Alex gets home at the end of the day. There's almost always a pile of clean laundry waiting to get put away at the end of the bed, which usually only gets put away because I need the basket to start a new load.

So today's project....gardening! Last week I started to pull weeds and move some plants around next to our house. Half done of course because Emma didn't want to stay outside anymore so we went in. Today I moved another plant around to the other side of the house and one more to the backyard. Just as I was filling the dirt around one plant Aiden started crying from the bumbo seat and Emma needed her shoes put back on. I shoved some dirt around the poor plant and we went inside. It started raining and now I've realized I left a huge hole where the plants used to be planted! Oh well! Maybe next week I'll fill it in!

It's a wonder my children are fully clothed everyday....!

Bunny Hunt

A few days ago our house was turned upside down by a missing bunny! Not a real one, but a little pink bunny blanket also known as LaLa. My sweet Emma's best friend since she was a baby not much older than Aiden is now.

When Emma was just a few months old we gave her her first LaLa. I had read that giving your baby a security blanket could help them sleep better and feel more secure alone so I figured it was worth a try. We had received her as a gift at our baby shower so I dug her out of the closet and put her next to Em in the crib. It worked and ever since LaLa has been a member of the family. Anyone who has come to Cuddle Bugs when Emma was there has probably been formally introduced to LaLa or at least seen her tucked under Em's arm. She comes everywhere with us and it shows! She is no longer the beautiful, super soft bright pink bunny she had originally been. I actually remember before I had Emma when a lady came in with her child who had a lovey similar to LaLa. I was shocked at how filthy and beat up looking it was, and now I laugh because I'm sure people look at Emma's lovey and think the same thing! Emma wouldn't have it any other way though.

We actually were smart enough to buy multiple bunnies when we realized how important she was to Emma. Soon after LaLa #1 became a big hit, my mother bought us #2. Not long after that another LaLa was consigned at the store and I figured it was probably worth it to snatch her up and save her in case of emergency. Three LaLas...you'd think there was no way we'd end up with none right?! You're wrong! Some how soon after Emma started nursery school we lost two of them within a month. Paranoid about losing the third one (which was actually the original LaLa) I sent my mom out to buy a fourth one. Unfortunately since original LaLa was almost three years old LaLa #4 didn't cut it. Emma called her "Mommy LaLa" and the first one "Baby LaLa". She refuses to play or cuddle with Mommy LaLa since she's not the same dirty, well loved LaLa Emma adores.

Well, two days ago Baby LaLa went missing! We didn't realize it until it was bedtime and Alex and I couldn't find her anywhere in the house. We sent Emma to bed with a stuffed bear instead (she wouldn't take Mommy LaLa). Emma seemed okay for the night, although she did tell me Baby LaLa was crying, which broke my heart! After she went to bed we went on a man, well bunny, hunt for the missing LaLa. We called all of the places we had been for the day, Alex drove over to the YMCA to look. She was no where to be found. The only thing I could think of was to make Mommy LaLa look like Baby LaLa. I took her outside and rubbed her in the dirt and grass, stepped on her and dragged her through my garden. It was painful for me to do this to such a beautiful, expensive bunny, but I had no choice (pretty sure the neighbors sitting on their porch thought I was nuts!). I spent the rest of the night washing everything I could find in the house with Mommy LaLa and running her through the dryer to try to achieve that wash wear look the other LaLa had. It didn't work. Our washer just washed all the dirt and grass right off of her!

I went to bed convinced we were not going to find Baby LaLa and Emma was going to be devastated in the morning when she realized Mommy LaLa was not what she wanted. Looking back I can't believe how upset I was about it - laying in bed trying to think of any other place she could possibly be. I even continued the search at 3am after feeding Aiden, with no luck.

In the morning when I went in her wake Emma she of course asked for LaLa. I gave her the still new looking mommy which she gave back to me saying "No I want Baby LaLa". I wasn't ready to give up yet so I told her we were still on the hunt - not sure how long I was going to be able to hold her off before the break down I knew was coming. I went off to work, leaving her to spend the day boating with Alex and some friends. On the drive to work I was almost in tears wondering what could have happened to that damn bunny!

                      (1st day of school - LaLa went too)
Frantically I reached out to the facebook community to see if I could get lucky and find someone with a nicely used LaLa to replace our lost one. Unfortunately I could not find one, but it did make me smile to see how being a mother forms such a great sisterhood. Other moms responded to my post with sympathy and empathy for our lost friend. Moms posted about their children's loveys and how they would feel awful if anything happened to them. Those who know us well and know LaLa were as concerned as I was in Emma's loss. I also loved all of the suggestions on how to dirty up Mommy LaLa - stain her with tea, tie her behind my car and drive around, run over her... All of which I was prepared to try.

The only other place I could think of was the house we stopped at for a garage sale. I had let Emma out of the car to pick out some movies and honestly couldn't remember if LaLa came along or not. Could she possibly still be there? Did the home owners save her thinking that we may be back for the raggedy old bunny? Well I wasn't going to give up! I sent Alex back to the house later that day to find out and wouldn't you know..she was there!! They had left her on a table out front I guess in case we returned (they were not home at the time). What a relief! I was so happy to have her back - probably more excited than Emma who luckily never really realized the severity of the situation.

I have now put a tag with our phone number in both LaLas just in case this ever happens again. I've also made the executive decision never to give Aiden a security blanket! Too stressful for this mommy to go through again!!

Nursing

Nursing....to some it's a special bonding moment between mommy and baby, to others a daunting unenjoyable task that must be done because it is best for baby. For me I guess I'm kind of in the middle. I don't especially enjoy nursing. It's very time consuming and as a multi-tasker who never stops going, sitting down for 30 minutes to nurse makes me antsy. I usually sit there with baby in one hand and the computer or phone in the other. Don't get me wrong. I love spending bonding time with my children and I also love the fact that I can supply them with the best nutrition they can possibly get, but I just can't sit still that long!
With Emma I nursed/pumped for a little more than seven months. At which point she would no longer sit on my lap long enough to do it so I gave up. She was a happy baby with no colic or gas issues. I did supplement her with some formula so I could go out once in while and also at night which seemed to help her sleep a little longer. Thus was my plan with Aiden!
As most of you know, it has been very different this time around. Poor Aiden didn't enjoy nursing from the start. My milk came in too fast and he sometimes choked and ultimately got very bad gas from nursing. In addition, I went back to work after just 11 days and found it very hard to find the time to nurse him every two hours while helping customers and trying to get work done. As a result I decided to primarily pump and give him bottles. This was also very hard to handle with work. Being able to take fifteen minutes every few hours to pump was very difficult. I would find a time when there were not customers and start pumping. Inevitably someone would come in five minutes in and I'd have to stop. Unfortunately unlike other working moms I wasn't allotted a break and a quiet pumping room!

Bottles helped Aiden a little with the gas but not significantly. The past ten weeks have been spent trying to help him be more comfortable and not scream in pain after every feeding. So, I am overjoyed to report that are trying five different formulas (and yes I have them all opened barely used in my kitchen -someone please take them!) we seem to have found some relief. For the past six days Aiden has been exclusively on Enfamil Nutramigen formula. I've continued to pump in hopes that he could still do breastmilk as well but have found that even a little mixed in with his formula makes him sick. He is such a happy baby now and I am feelilng a lot less stressed and a lot more relaxed and he is even sleeping better (last night he spent the majority of the night in his crib!).

So after much thought, well fighting with myself, trying to decide what was best for both of us, I've decided to wean myself off of pumping and nursing all together. I realize that I could spend days adjusting my diet and try to see if we could make it work and a part of me thinks that maybe I'm a horrible mother for not trying it, but, with my busy work schedule and the fact that the formula alone really seems to make him a different baby, I have come to have some peace with my decision. I put in a solid effort to nurse and it just isn't working for us. There are many people out there who I'm sure are disappointed in my decision and may see me as a bad mom, but I need to do what is best for myself and Aiden and exclusive formula is the answer for us.

It certainly hasn't been easy to stop nursing though. I have had to slowly wean myself off of producing  milk which is very painful and every time I pump it reminds me that Aiden is not getting that milk that I am making for him. Thankfully the milk will not go to waste as I am going to give it to a friend of mine who is due any day now. At least that makes me feel better knowing that something good will come out of all the pumping.

So I guess in the end I just hope Aiden knows that I did really try to nurse even though it didn't work out. Every smile and coo makes it totally worth everything we've been through and I am so looking forward to more of this happy bonding time!

An Apple A Day

We had Aiden's two month doctors check up a few days ago. Everything went well! He weighs 13lbs 11oz and is 23.75" long (my BIG guy!!). He's still very colicky but the doctor says hopefully he'll outgrow it in the next month or so. When she asked Emma if she liked being a big sister she said "Yeah, I love my baby brother. He cries a lot though." Confirmation that we're still dealing with a lot of cranky baby times over here. After discussing everything we've tried to help him and how I've been getting up at 4am with him for the day the doctor suggested we just let him swing himself back to sleep in the morning. She said "i'm not suppose to encourage the swing but you need sleep and if that's the only way to get it then that's what you have to do." So I've been camping out on the couch next to him at 4am until Emma comes down at 7 to wake me. It's amazing how the love you feel for your child allows you to just do and not think about it. I'm exhausted and stressed but I'll sleep on the couch as long as he needs because I just want him to feel better (although I think in my daze I threatened last night to give him to the church - haha we all have our moments!).

Thank god for our down to earth doctor, who happens to be a new mommy of a 4 month old too! Up until now we really haven't been able to find a doctor we liked. Emma's first doctor told us when Em was about a year old that we should give her french fries from McDonalds if she liked them. That was the last time we saw her! Not that we don't give her french fries ever but I'd rather have a doctor who encouraged apples :)

Why is it so hard to find good, caring doctors? Through both pregnancies I struggled finding one of my own. It seems like the OBGYN practice I go to just pushes you along not even remembering who you are or at the very least reading the chart before they come in the room. Not only do they make you wait at least 20 minutes in the waiting room and another 15 in the exam room, but you only end up seeing the doctor for about 5 minutes and they have no idea what is going on. One time I was in there for a follow up visit for severe headaches. The midwife came in and did her usual exam. Then she asked me how I was feeling and if I was having any issues. Umm yes, I'm here because I was having headaches! She then looked at the chart (after I told her about the headaches) and said "oh yeah how are your headaches?" Really, you couldn't spend five seconds looking at it before you came in! Another time, actually the morning before Aiden was born, the nurse took my blood pressure twice because she said it was really high. I usually have really low blood pressure so I was worried. The midwife came in said everything looked good and tried to hurry me along to my ultrasound. She said they were in a rush to get me in there because the ultrasound tech was waiting! I asked her about the high blood pressue and again she had no idea! She sent the nurse back in to measure it again and it came back lower. So why did I keep going there? I have no idea. I guess it's because it's the only practice that there was no chance I'd be stuck with a midwife I didn't know (which happened with Emma and was horrible - but that's another story!). But why aren't there any good practices out there? Why aren't there any midwives who know their patients names and actually care about their health? Having a baby is one of the biggest and scariest events of your life, someone should actually care enough to know your name shouldn't they?

Well even if they did know my name they certainily don't care about the health and welfare of their patients. My postpartum check up was a joke. I was half asleep and barely said three words to anyone there (except of course when the nurse asked about my birth control plans for the future and I replied "Yes, please. Yes give me everything you've got"). No one seemed to notice that I could barely keep my eyes open. The doctor came in, checked me and on her way out the door said "oh did the nurse give you the postpartum worksheet?" No, she hadn't which really annoyed the doctor. She gave me about 3 minutes to fill it out, barely glanced at it and said ok, see you in July. Not that I think I need any postpartum treatment but it would have been nice of her to ask how I was doing?!

So this was really suppose to be about how happy I am with our new doctor but it turned out to be about how much I feel women need more care during and after pregnancy. Pregnancy and postpartum are an emotional rollarcoaster and there should be better professional support out there.

So over here we're just going to keep pressing on. Enjoying the baby smiles and coos and getting through the hours of crying knowing that "this too shall pass."

Emma's Insightful Quote of the Week:

(While driving in the car)
Emma: "Mommy why do you have daddy's song?"
Me: "What do you mean Emma?" (took me 3 tries to realize the song on the radio is one Alex must play in his car alot). "Does daddy play this song in his car?"
Emma: "Yeah, did he share it with you?"

Passing it on

So tonight I made dinner for strangers. Correction....I made dinner for strangers with a 14 month old and newborn, our new neighbors. I may at times be in over my head, but I know I'm not the only mom out there who could use some help and support. I am so lucky to have amazing friends and family who have fed and taken such great care of us the last eight weeks. I went to a last minute playdate the other day where my friends not only fed us lunch but sent us home with dinner (yes like I said AMAZING friends). So with the idea that I am incredibly lucky to have so much support, I thought it would be the right thing to do to pass it on to someone who may not have friends to cook dinner for her.

It also reminds me to not judge others. I'm sure my friends at our playdate could have looked at me and thought that I wasn't doing a great job parenting. I can't even get my kid to sit and eat two bites of anything let alone the fresh fruit that the other kids were enjoying! But they don't judge. They are great moms who know what I wish all moms could grasp.....most moms are doing they best they can and that's good enough! (I say "most" moms because of course there are those moms who are off oding on drugs, but most moms are great moms). If you haven't read the book "I was a really good mom before I had kids" then you need to go out and get it! It's all about how you can look at a mom and judge her much easier before you are a mom yourself. I can totally attest to this and now I feel guilty about it. I can remember going out to dinner and scoffing at the kid watching a dvd while her parents ate dinner or staring at the kid screaming in the grocery store. Now I'm the mom trucking the dvd player out with us (how on earth would Alex & I get to eat without it?!) and my kid is usually the one screaming at the grocery store (hence why I go at 10pm after she's in bed!).I now try to never judge other parents. I know how I struggle sometimes and I know that most parents are doing the best they can for their children. No one is perfect and as long as you can go to bed knowing you did the best you could then that's good enough for me!

So I challenge you to do two things....pay it forward to another mom and don't judge! You could really make someone's day and hopefully they will do the same for the next person.




And one adorable picture just for the heck of it :)

We Survived Our First 7 Weeks!

So I've decided that I need to chronicle the adventures I've been having as a new mom of two children. Who knew it would be such a learning experience? As a college graduate and former nanny, who owns her own business and on the side has a real estate license, I figured I was organized and smart enough to handle two children. Many friends told me that two would be a huge adjustment but I guess I did not listen hard enough and was no at all prepared for what was ahead! Don't get me wrong, I adore my children, but as you'll probably read in this blog, some days are just more than this mommy can handle!

Well Aiden is now seven weeks old (born February 22nd) and I've finally gotten around to starting this blog! So if you haven't been following my facebook posts you've missed all that we have been encoutering so far. Here's a quick recap...
Week 1: Brought Aiden home after 1 day in the hospital. Unfortunately, my mother was still in Florida so Alex and I were on our own for the first few days.  Alex and Emma were both suffering with bad colds so it was all up to me to take care of the house and all of the occupants while trying to recover from delivering an almost 10 pound baby! All it took were a few pleas to my mom and some cute pics of the new baby and Grammie came flying home! Yay! We needed her help! Week 1 also involved a special visit to the doctor to check out Aiden's extreme diaper rash.

Week 2: Thanks to my mom who stayed for over a week and some great friends, we stayed well fed and everything seemed pretty easy. But then....Oh no! Grammie left us! Our first day alone was horrible (not going to sugarcoat it, I thought I was going to die and cried for the majority of it). All I remember is both kids screaming, both kids pooping and it ending with all three of us in the oversized glider and both kids eventually asleep. Week 2 also involved me going back to work after only 11 days of "maternity leave". You don't really get leave when you own the place! Week 2 ended with a 2 week check up for Aiden where we found out he had a double ear infection. The lady at the check out counter commented "I've never seen a baby so young with an ear infection" and the doctor said "Good thing you had this appointment, you should have brought him in earlier." Well gee thanks, that made me feel great!

Week 3: I suffered through week 3. Emma, my wise beyond her years two year old, kept me sane with her thoughtful conversation:
Me: "yawn"
Emma: "Mommy, are you tired?"
Me: "Yes, being a mommy is tiring."
Emma: "Maybe you should be a daddy."
Me: "Maybe. Being a daddy is a lot less work."
Emma: "I know!"

We also got our first family pictures done this week and Emma got her first haircut. I do have to comment on the haircut since I was soo dissapointed. We brought her to snipits and the lady cut literally three 1cm pieces and handed them to me in a tiny bag. $13 later that was it! I couldn't believe it. Later, people asked me why I didn't complain and I realized that I had been in such a daze just trying to stay awake I didn't even think about it at the time. (Of course I lost the hair since then too which really made me sad - sorry Em!).

Week 4: Here's a quote from my facebook post week 4:
"Had to bring Aiden back to the dr. today, this time for colic. Of course 10 minutes before the appointment he is screaming to be fed. So I feed him and now we're ready to walk out the door (5 min late) and Emma poops her pants! Bring her upstairs to get clean pants and the toilet clogs and overflows. So we end up 15 minutes late to the dr. and I have poop water all over my pants & socks. To top it off I leave the diaper bag at the office after we leave so we have to drive back after we get home and I realize I don't have it! Ahhhh...."breathe mommy" Emma tells me!"
(since this Emma has complete digressed and poops in her pants daily!)

The next 2 weeks were filed with being late to almost everything we did. I think Emma's teacher at school actually expected her to be late and was always waiting at the door when we arrived with a pittyed look on her face. We also dealt with many gastric issues with Aiden which came to a head this week (week 7). Poor little baby has been so gassy and fussy and his poor mommy has not been getting any sleep because of it. We tried everything -  zantac for reflux but it didnt work and made him cry more - also tried 3 different kinds of formula, no dairy, gas drops, special bed, no nursing, exclusive nursing, new bottles, probiotic drops and now we're on to gripe water and sleeping inclined. Many calls to the doctor have resulted in a final conclusion.....severe colic. The doctor said there's not much else to try and it will go away by 3-4 months. Her best advice...."scream into a pillow". LOL!

Of course there has been a ton more things we've been through which I want to share but Aiden is waking up and wants to be fed and Emma wants me to dress her like a princess and I still need to shower before we head off for a playdate (yes I'm feeling daring today and will attempt to get them both out the door - I need some adult interaction!). More to come soon!