Dear House Hunter

A message to the person/people who come to look at my house:

Dear House Hunter,
I am writing to give you a little insight to the way I feel about this whole house selling process and how awful house showings actually are for the seller. I would like to start by telling you that I spent five hours today (and yesterday as soon as I got the call) cleaning my house. Now don't judge me just yet and assume my house is a gross mess and that is why it took so long to get it presentable. You should know that I have two small children, a husband that works twelve hour shifts, and three cats and for all of these reasons it takes an unacceptable amount of time to prepare for your showing.

Here is how the cleaning goes....I put something away, someone takes something else out. I make a bed, two kids jump on it the second I leave the room. I wipe down the counter, someone writes with marker on it. I vacuum the couch and a furry cat sits on it. Therefore, most areas of the house have been cleaned multiple times and still look bad. I once thought about sticking my kids in the basement for a while but as you will soon read, there is no room for them down there. Also, I would like you to know that I do mop the floor although it may not look like it. I just mopped it five days ago when we had the last damn showing and probably four days before that for the one before. If you people could possibly get together and all come at once I would greatly appreciate it. I'm getting rather sick of cleaning!

Now that you know how horrible it has been for me to get the house ready for you I would like you to please abide by the following rules in order to make this a more enjoyable experience for both of us:
First, please do not open any cabinets or look under any beds (I have no idea what's under the couches for that matter, so avoid that area too). This house is full of crap that I do not know where to put and as I hope you have not noticed, there is a major lack of closet space. Therefore, I shove whatever I can in every cabinet I can find and under all of our beds. This really pisses my husband off because he can never find anything after you have left. Second, what I cannot put in a cabinet or beneath a bed goes in the basement, so please don't judge the giant amount of stuff that is down there. In an effort to make it look less crammed my husband has shoved everything towards the walls so maybe you won't notice that we have way too much unused crap down there. Third, if you desire a large yard or a garage please just cancel now and save us both some time. The listing document clearly states that we have no yard and no garage. Why on earth do you think that coming and looking at the place will change that? I'm not building a garage for you and there is no other land available for a yard. On that note, if you prefer to not be near downtown I also am not able to physically move the house itself so please look elsewhere. In addition, the showing instructions state not to let our cats outside. Therefore, if you have an aversion to cats or a severe cat allergy STAY OUT! Why are you doing this to me? If you know you are not able to live here please inform your agent of that and don't book a showing. Finally, in the same category, when you or your agent is leaving feedback on your showing please leave constructive feedback on things I can actually change. Once again I am not physically able to move the home or add more land so telling me that is the reason you won't be putting in an offer really does not help me. Seriously if you tell me you are allergic to cats or you prefer to buy a multi-family home I may have to come find you and punch you. Nice comments like "you did a wonderful job cleaning" are much appreciated.

Thank you so much for coming to see my house. My family really appreciates the fact that my cleaning efficiency is up 200% and our house looks and smells beautiful now. Please make an offer so I never have to clean it again.

Independence

Independence is such a great thing to see in a small child, but sometimes (in my case), it can be hard for the parent! Not only are you realizing that your once baby is no longer a baby, the way they choose to be independent can also be trying on your patience (and OCD issues)!

My sweet Emma has decided that she would like to start dressing herself. This is great! I am so glad that she finds pride in being about to pick out her own clothes and show up in my room fully dressed. It can many days be hard for me though to not comment on her outfit choices. One day she put on a pair of jeans backwards because she wanted to be able to see the rainbows on her back pockets. Another day she insisted on wearing two different boots (she got so many comments about them that day that she decided it was a great success!). Today she came out of her room with a pale pink waffle knit top, bright pink "comfy" pants and purple socks. I once tried to encourage her to wear jeans to school (since we own about ten pairs of beautiful Gymboree jeans) and save the comfy pants for home but unfortunately it was poor planning as I had chosen to wear my yoga pants that day contradicting my jeans speech. Since then I've kept quiet about the comfy pants choices. She also choose to top the outfit off with mittens with the fingers cut off (no clue where those came from!). So I try hard to just go along with it. Can you teach a four year old how to match and not look like a homeless person?

Along with the dressing herself we have been having a lot of "I can do it myself" days. This, I have learned, should be executed by allowing yourself an extra fifteen to twenty minutes (at least) for each daily task. If you read my previous blog about always being late blog would know I don't really have time for the "I can do it myself "phase but I know as a mother I know I need to let her do it. This then leads us to be late for many things.... It's 8:45 and we're racing out of the door to school and she wants to zip herself. Ten minutes later and we're off! "I can read it myself" leads to a five page book lasting twenty minutes. "I can get in the car by myself" results in me standing in the cold for five minutes waiting to buckle her in. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE that fact that she is learning to do so many things by herself and I would NEVER discourage her from doing so. It is just another aspect of mothering I am working hard on, patience (and better time management planning!).

As we navigate childhood together I realize this time is bittersweet. Soon it will be "I can go to bed by myself" and "I want to be by myself" and the cuddles and playtime together will fade away. So I will cherish the few things she does still let me do and sit back and accept the things she would rather do herself. If she looks disheveled and we're late you'll know why!